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When we meet a potential love interest in person, we’re taught to look for certain red flags—like being rude to the waiter, calling incessantly or not at all, or claiming that his favorite book is The Da Vinci Code.When we’re choosing potential dates online, though, we sometimes have little more than a picture and a paragraph to go on.
As history has it, when people defected from My Space to Facebook, that online community became a dust town.Some brazen daters even post contradictory information right on their profile (“I’m really forty, even though I listed my age as thirty-five”), as justification for trying to show up in more searches for “men over six feet tall,” or “women under forty.” Presenting oneself in the best light is one thing, but outright lying is quite another.Online dating was supposed to make it easier to meet and screen potential dates, but sometimes it seems as if it’s just added one more layer of effort that requires you to filter out the crazies to get to the good ones.A person who constantly makes plans and then cancels them, or who can talk on the phone only at certain times of the day, either has an incredibly demanding job or is not quite as single as she claims.It’s sad, but many married people troll dating sites, either looking for some action on the side or just seeking validation.Dating is a negotiation, and we don’t always get everything we want.
Getting involved with someone who’s so demanding from the start is sure to end in disappointment.What’s not okay is to expect potential suitors to conform to a long list of demands.If you see a profile that specifies a required height/weight, salary, or supermodel looks, or includes domineering phrases like “I need …” or “I won’t tolerate …,” consider whether you could ever live up to this person’s impossible standards.It’s great conversation fodder when someone displays snapshots of himself on vacation or out with friends, but it’s reasonable to expect at least one clear picture of his face.If you receive an impersonal message that seems oddly like a form letter, it probably is.That is, until you receive a message or phone call confessing that the picture he sent wasn’t really him, and that he’s actually five years older than he claimed, but now that you’ve gotten to know him, that shouldn’t be a problem, right? The intent is to trick potential dates into falling for their “inner beauty,” but all this ruse really reveals about someone is that he’s a liar.