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Similarly, it’s inadvisable for an introverted person to try to force themselves to act like an extrovert, especially in the dating scene.It’s incongruent with who they are; they’re quite literally pretending to be someone they’re not in hopes of better results.
But then: when you say will do, you’re saying that you don’t give a damn about the individual.On a practical level, desperation hurts you in a multitude of ways.You’re less likely to meet someone you would consider you will be turned off when they realize that any warm body will do and still more will assume that there must be a reason why you’ve been refused so often.The metaphorical scent of desperation is the antithesis of attraction; much like negativity, it suffuses about you, from the way you speak to the way you act. It screams of low self-esteem and equally low regard for the person on the receiving end of their attentions.After all, when you’re coming off as desperate, you’re telling the everyone around you that you don’t care for them as a person so much as what they : a featureless mannikin dressed up in entitlement and frustrated desire.An attitude of “This sucks, this will never work, I’ll never_______, only _____ people get to do _____,” only guarantees that you are indeed correct; it won’t ever work, nor will you ever do whatever it is that you’ve been hoping.
They’re self-limiting beliefs – beliefs that you allow to take over your life and restrict you from achieving what you hope to achieve. When you tell yourself that you will never ________ because only X guys do _______ and you’re not X, you’re artificially cutting yourself off from any and all possibilities.
If you believe no woman could possibly find you attractive, you will elide over all evidence to the contrary – women flirting with you, giving you the “come-hither” stare or even just smiling at you – and focus like a laser on every incidence of negativity.
You will see every interaction in the worst possible light: “she doesn’t like me, she’s clearly repulsed by me, she’s only being polite, I’m misreading the signals” This apparently unending stream of reinforcement will only serves to perpetuate a vicious cycle; your self-limiting beliefs cause you to overlook evidence to the contrary, thus reinforcing the belief which, in turn, continues to make it impossible to see the truth. Believing in yourself – that you’re attractive, that you have a lot to offer others, that you can you.
Nowhere was this more apparent than in the early days of the Pick Up community, when people assumed that one of the secrets of success with meeting women is to “peacock”; that is, dress up in exotic or even outlandish ways in order to get attention.
Suddenly, you couldn’t swing a dead cat in a bar without hitting someone trying to rock a fuzzy top-hat and black nail polish or a shiny silk jacket, spiky earrings and New Rock boots.
After all, it’s likely that “being yourself” hasn’t exactly gotten you to where you want to be. When we look at people who have something we want – whether it be material success, a skill or talent or even just a hot girlfriend – it’s only natural to try to be more like them.